tired as hell

everyday

everyday of my life i'm told to shutup. everyday of my life im made to feel like im not worth shit.
everyday of my life i yearn for someone to show me that they really love me. everyday of my life i stand in the bathroom with a pair of scissors. didnt know that? now you do. and everyday of my current life, i stop myself for the same reason i stand there.

im not dramatic, im sensitive, something that you were extremely and i held my words back, so please, hold yours.

im not psychotic, im unstable, and im working on it, so please don't push me.

i hate the word annoying. im told that most days of my life too, and i hate it because can't imagine someone who use to be there for me all the time, suddenly disappear and say to myself that its better off.

i struggle with so much thoughts and feelings that i can't even handle, so when you dump your aggressiveness on me because you think im annoying, think twice, cause the amount of shit you give me is the number of steps i take up that ladder to the rooftop.

if im annoying, its cause i need you. and you know that so for once, be a fucking man and show that kindness you show everyone else around you to me. cause i need it. even just for a minute.

this is probably more than ive ever said on my blog about myself. so cheers to me huh?

studying sucks stupid squidballs

so ive been in the library for like 6 hrs and i havent done jack shit ive been absolutely procrastinating on facebook for the longsest i have ever been on facebook just talking and commenting and shit. its so sad =( and yeah ive got more then 3 assignments due which im all fucked for but there is no motivation for me to continue. i just have to get through one more month and im free. i really want to go back to melbourneeeee and i want to hang out with my friends. and go and play and drink till i pass out lol well no i dont want to do that i want to just go out. hehehe hmm i have some things on my agenda already.

i will be going to melbourne for NYE. no point staying here anymore and ill be attending armin only weeeeee =) with my melbourne friends and hopefully meet a friends baby nephew cause he looks so adorable in the pictures and also i want to go on a trip? maybe to a beach house or something. my mate from four seasons wants me to go with his friends but i dont know his friends and plus i got school still so thats odd. hmm what else thats about it i guess. earn some dosh. and lose weight hahahha i want to be 43 kilogramsssss or 42 im like 45-47 right now it fluctuates so unattractive since im short and just short and fat. lol stump much.

so i need to get a new learners license ay. its been expired for like half a year plus i really need to learn to drive so i can do my own shit and dont have to take a bus from work like fucking everyday. such a drag.

i have drank 2 coffees today. quite little and quite tired =( i just want to sleep i got home at 5am yesterday and i woke at 9am sighhhhhh

hope yall having a great time doing what yall doing. i really want to hang out =) so call me. and ryyy when you going overseas again?

i work at gloria jeans and own a starbucks coffee mug=) life is full of betrayals.