stop

its been one rough week. I can honestly say, to all my friends. they think im already fine. they push me forward to look for something new and something better and in front of them i can totally agree but when im by myself i can't help but want what i really want. i can deny it to myself but all i really want is him.

im sick of college and im sick of work and just i don't know, ive run out of energy to do anything. like at least before i was tired but i still did it because i felt that you were proud of me but now i just feel that every little thing that happens seems to be on me. it feels like a thousand tonne weight are on my shoulders.

the worst thing is, i can't sleep but im so tired and the only place i can sleep is near you. i need this sleep cause if i don't then really all im doing is thinking about the shit that's gone wrong in my life and to me i can name like a hundred thousand things.

i think ive said im great to like 50 people today. thats cause i work but still to friends and people i also say that im great. but im just greatly displeased with my life. and i feel like im slipping from everything that means anything to me. im slipping from youth group and melbourne friends and family and well obviously him.

im so exhausted still from the lack of sleep last night even though i slept like 4 hours but already i can't get back to sleep again.

i remember playing this song over and over again when i was in high school i don't know why i liked it so much but now i love it to bits and its what describes how i feel in this moment in time.